#BloggingRedefined - TIPS ON CHRISTIAN DATING, COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.

Posted on Palhood, December 26th 2012.
I did a solid research on the topic: “Tips On Christian Dating, Courtship And Marriage” and found an interview granted by a Pastor that resides in Ogun State, Pastor Lanre Adenekan. Pastor Lanre is the Senior Pastor of Chapel Of Victory, Church Of The Vine, Sagamu.

- How Do I Know The Will Of God Concerning The Person I Will Marry?
Yes it is very important to know the will of God as concerns the person you get married to. However, knowing the will of God is a very broad topic. God communicates with people in many ways. He will always adopt the way that He finds easiest with you. These ways include:
The inner witness.
No voice.
You just know somehow.
The inner voice, otherwise called "the still small voice".
Dreams
Revelations
Through a sermon
As you read the bible He speaks to us through His word.
The thing is to get used to the way God speaks to you in small matters first before you go to a big matter like the issue of your life partner. Having mastered that method, it becomes easier to be sure it is God leading you.

- Is It Biblical To Marry Somebody From An Opposite Religion, For Example A Christian To A Moslem?
I don't know the kind of Christian; this question is referring to because everybody calls himself a Christian. But when somebody is a born again Christian, there's no place whatsoever, in the bible for that person to marry somebody who is not a born-again Christian. That's what the bible teaches. The born-again Christian should also marry another born-again Christian. That is clearly in the bible. It says, "What fellowship do you have with somebody who is not born-again". That's where I stand because that's my constituency. So if you are referring to some
other type of Christian, I may not be able to answer for that person, but for somebody who is born-again. There is no place for you in the bible to marry somebody who is not born-again.

- If A Polygamist Gives His Life To Christ And He Want To Do Restitution, Does He Send Some Of His Wives Parking And He Keeps The First Wife? If He Does That, Is He Sure Of Making Heaven?
This talk about restitution, there is a way it does apply; there is a way it does not apply. Somebody who has, let us say three wives now. And he is properly married to all three wives. Certainly he is married to them. And nowhere in the bible does it support that the man should send any of them parking, because they are properly married wives. What I mean by that is this; he has done all that ought to be done. He has carried the yam, kola, palm-oil, goat or whatever they take to the parents and they have handed the lady over to him. All three of them have gone through that according to the laws of Nigeria. He is married to them and he does not have the right to send any of them parking. If he sends one parking, then he must explain what the sins of that person are, what are the offences of that person. He cannot send any of them away without any particular reason, just saying, I am a Christian now, I cannot have you. That person can go to the customary court and from the customary court, go to even higher court and say look the man has no good reason for driving me away. He married me according to the law of the land. The law of our land
recognizes what is called native law and customs. He is married that way. If we read our bibles very, very well, we are going to understand, there were people in the bible that had more than one wife in the New Testament. That is why Paul wrote and said to Timothy, if anyone would become a bishop or a deacon, he must be the husband of one wife. Because there were some people in the church that had more than one wife. I do not think Paul asked them to send anyone parking.

- When Is The Best Time To Begin Courtship?
There is no hard and fast rule about when to begin to court. Some people are 27 and still have the mind of an 18 year old. Others are 20 but already operate like 35. The thing to do is not to deceive yourself or to use someone else's life to determine what you do. Also, you may ask yourself, "Do I miss a partner--someone to share with, think alongside with, and decide with? Someone who can tell me the cold truth and yet I know it is in my interest? Someone before whom my whole life can be laid bare yet I do not feel ashamed or threatened? I learnt this from Dr. Kenneth Hagin: “It is not good either to be too slow or to be too fast. Nevertheless, of the two bad cases, being slow is the better.” Agree.

- I Fell In Love With A Close Friend And I Told Him My Feelings. After A Few Months, He Went Ahead And Proposed To Me. But Then, Soon After His Proposal I Began To See In My Dream That This Man Is In Love With Another Friend Of Mine. And When I Told Him This, He Said, That Is Not True. But I Kept Seeing These Things. What Do I Do?
This takes us back to what I've always said. You're a lady, you fell in love with a man and you went and told the man, "See, I've fallen in love with you" Oh dear, the chap just hooks into it and proposes. I've said this many times and you can agree with me, if you have fallen in love with a man, try your best to conceal it. It is not very easy for a woman to conceal things, so you must struggle to make sure you don't fall in love with somebody and the person gets to know, he will take advantage of that situation. This is what this person now seems to have done here. As a lady, a man can see that you are in love with him; he then formalizes it by proposing, then goes ahead to have an affair with some other person. I will advise you to just get out of that whole relationship, just forget about it, live your life normally and let somebody fall in love with you and propose to you rather than you falling in love and go and tell the person. It's not good for a lady to do that, a man may take advantage of it as seems to me, this person is doing here.

- As A Christian, Can I Have A Boyfriend At Age 20? If Yes, What Should Be My Conduct And If No, When Should I Have One?
Personally, I don't quite like the terminology boyfriend when it comes to Christians I don't really like that terminology because, of what it has meant over the years or what it has represented really but, if you are talking about having some intend to marry, not somebody you play around with for a while and change again, and play around for a while and change yet again if somebody you want to get married to, that's the language we Christians use you see, there is nothing wrong in having such a person at the age to twenty only that you prayerfully go about it, make sure you have a proper guide in your church leadership or fellowship leadership as the case may be, your conduct I'm going to have to give you a seminar to describe your conduct but I will simply say here that you try to conduct yourself as you find in the bible and in the word of God. Praise God!.

Thanks to Pastor Lanre Adenekan for answering these question with the help of the Holy Spirit. God continue to bless you sir,AMEN.

Thanks and God bless!

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