#CHNG - IS MARRIAGE COMPULSORY? AN ONLINE DISCUSSION WITH MY FRIENDS!

Posted on Palhood, August 17th 2013.
After 3 days of getting an andriod phone, Ayodele Idowu (Budo) called from Canada welcoming me to the world of Andriod......He wouldn't have called if I didnt buy an andriod phone.....Lol! He introduced me to Google Hangout and told me 2 go download it. He informed me of a group he or whoever created, which consists of 6 (5 of which are abroad) of my Secondary School classmates including him. He told me he wanted me to join the group. I was sooo happy to be added to the group where technology, sports, relationships and real life shits are discussed by real made man men (except from me).

The discussion below is one of the greatest we've ever had in the group. Only 4 and I participated in this discussion and it all happened on a Sunday afternoon after church service.

Cast: Dami Idowu – Carpel
Ayodele Idowu – Budo
Wole Efunbajo - Wole
Samuel Enikanolaye - Tope and then,
Ifede Yimika – Me

Dami Idowu – Guys guy guys. I have one serious issue to ask you all. Its about our each life not technology. It’s a simple question and I want your own personal opinion.
Me – Oya ask, make we answer!
Dami Idowu - Is marriage compulsory? Ifede, you can ask your people on Palhood.
Wole Efunbajo – No, its not.
Dami Idowu – Thanks baba mi
Wole Efunbajo – I actually think its bullshit anyways.
Dami Idowu – I love that.
Wole Efunbajo – I don’t like any aspect of it.
Dami Idowu – Haha hahaha I like some, well the sex part, but every other thing not in support of them all.
Wole Efunbajo – What happened to people just living each other and having children without tainting it with marriage?
Dami Idowu – At some point she will want to seal it with marriage
Me – Oh my sweet Jesus!
Wole Efunbajo – See, most people think its really compulsory, that without marriage, you’re not really serious. Mehn, I don’t know about others but mehn, I hate being locked down! I swear.
Me – Is marriage compulsory?......And you call that serious issue?
Wole Efunbajo – Ifede, I swear it is.
Me – Who don marry for here?
Dami Idowu – Haha then if you wont get married cos you want to be running from one woman to another that’s when it becomes a sin.
Me – Am sorry, you cant get good answers here
Dami Idowu – Ode, na those outside it that can give you good answer. Cuz those in it will be answering according to how they are enjoying the marriage.
Me – you guyz are discussing shit.
Dami Idowu – couples that are doing well will say yeah it is compulsory and those that aint doing well will talk otherwise.
Me – Well, in my own opinion……your answers will depend on your background. As for me……sometimes, I get jealous of my parents’ marriage
Wole Efunbajo – Well, perspectives dey sha. Hahahahahahah
Me – to me,itz compulsory…….buh, get married only when you are ready.
Wole Efunbajo – We want a straight point of view, not religious biased ones. LOL
Me – Sure @Wole
Dami Idowu – Nope. Will only use religion when I talk about it being a sin cos there is no place in the Bible or Quran that says it is compulsory.
Me – And mind you………no marriage is all sweet. There shall surely be ups and downs. Tribulations.
Ayodele Idowu – Okay people.
Dami Idowu – Yeah there is. But you know the society thinks it is a must to marry but it is actually an option. You decide yourself.
Me – I see it as a must………cuz if you are not………you may never be seen as responsible. Take 2Face’s case for example.
Wole Efunbajo – Me, I seriously don’t want it. Like, I don’t! but, when I told my girlfriend, she went bat-shit-crazy!!! So I never bring up the conversation again. @Ifede, that’s wrong, 2face is a dog. Marriage doesn’t make you responsible. Commitment does.
Dami Idowu – Hahahaha
Me – After fucking all available totos…….he chose one and got married to her…….why?
Wole Efunbajo – Because, no matter the marriage he will still cheat on his wife. It’s a sure thing.
Me – Commitmen? Did you jes write commitment?
Wole Efunbajo – Yep.
Me – do u wanna get married without commitment? You guys see marriage as a play thing?
Dami Idowu – lol play store ni.
Me – Crazy you @carpel. Na d reason why I say you must be ready b4 deciding to get married.
Wole Efunbajo – That’s the point. You can be committed without getting married and you’ll just be fine. And you can marry without committing
Me – So, doz now make marriage bullshit?
Wole Efunbajo – YES!
Me – Yeah,sure…….buh, how will you too marry without committing?
Wole Efunbajo – Marrying without commitment is bound to fail, and that’s what happens to most celeb marriages.
Ayodele Idowu – Marriage is not compulsory but with the kind of culture we are born into its well very much like our lives is already predetermined by a book. Take for instance, our parents at a certain age say you have to go to pre school then high school then university and then there comes in marriage. Its like we live our lives by the book and its not supposed to be like that. With the way the world is changing, its possible to be in a domestic partnership with someone without necessarily getting married but I can bet on it that you wont be able to bear the pressure. And Ifede, getting married doesn’t make you responsible, in fact you don’t need to get married to be responsible, how about people getting married and still having concubines? Are you going to say marriage made them responsible? No! it’s a matter of choice And yes Wole, getting married without commitment is like having an open marriage.
Wole Efunbajo - @Budo Nice piece there.
Dami Idowu – I swear, Budo killed it
Me – Yeah…….he did
Ayodele Idowu – That’s just what’s happening now.
Me - *clapping*
Dami Idowu – If you decide on what you want, forget pressure. Already told my mum I am not sure I will get married and she thought I was joking. Hahahaha
Me – buh……..am still saying marriage is necessary
Wole Efunbajo – Yoruba women are just there for the party. LOL! @Ifede, it’s not. Definitely not.
Me – Carpel…….and truly, you wont?
Dami Idowu – It’s an option, point blank, Period. It is like saying you want Samsung or iPhone, your choice. It is like saying ok I want to marry or I don’t want to marry.
Ayodele Idowu – I’m 100% sure beyond reasonable doubt that you’d be taken to all the pastors and alfas plus babalawos in Nigeria @Carpel.
Me – Jesus…….you’re comparing marriage to smart phones?
Dami Idowu – Haha you don’t know me sha @Budo. Yeah, cos it is a normal choice like every other decisions one has to make in life @Ifede.
Wole Efunbajo – Me no want am. But as Budo don talk, if pressure too much, then I MIGHT. I no wan give my parents hypertension because of party wey I no wan do.
Dami Idowu – When I say No! Trust me. They cant do anything.
Me – So……..na to dey fuck dey go abi?
Dami Idowu – Nope. That’s the point!
Me – Raise children and not family? Total nonsense!
Ayodele Idowu – But then I’m thinking that Carpel you are trying to come out of your shell, we’d love you unconditionally. So if you’re gay, just tell us. Ifede, what’s family?
Me – Gay?
Ayodele Idowu – As in, define a family.
Me – A family consists of a husband, a wife and then, the children.
Dami Idowu – I am not staying out of marriage cos I want to be fucking around. cos that is when it becomes a sin when you decide you wont marry cos you want to be fucking around.
Ayodele Idowu – That’s a nuclear family, @Ifede
Me – Olodo le leyi sha (This one is a dullard). What ave we bin talking about b4? Extended?
Dami Idowu – I have always based my decisions on thinking twice; advantages and disadvantages. Marraiage is not something that has advantages alone or disadvantages alone.
Me – what else?
Dami Idowu – Things that have just advantages are the ‘dos’ and those that have just disadvantages are the ‘donts’
Ayodele Idowu – See, a family isn’t necessarily consisting of a people being tied by blood. A family is a group of people who love and support each other unconditionally. The notion that it consist of a father, mother and children is totally wrong.
Me – One fin ayaf discovered from you guys is
that…….Y’all want freedom……you don’t wanna be
tied down.
Wole Efunbajo – Mehn, Budo, I swear, hats off.
Heads off!
Dami Idowu – Freedom? To do what? Fuck
around? Nope. I am not interested in that.
Wole Efunbajo – Noooooo Noooooo, we don’t
want freedom, we just don’t want to be tied down
by old useless unnecessary traditions. Its that
simple.
Dami Idowu – Marriage has both advantages and
disadvantages and one must think well to know if
that’s what you want. IPhone and Samsung, we all
know the advantages of Samsung better pass
iPhone na, so why take iPhone?
Me – Marriage! Marriage!! Marriage!!!
Dami Idowu – Or schooling, we all know
schooling has advantages and disadvantages but
the advantages outweighs the disadvantages. That
is why most people go to school and some don’t.
Cos they made a choice. Like Budo said primary
school, then high school, then uni. Not that we
all want something good at the very end. And
those times we could not make the choice on our
own so our parents force us to go to school.
Parents will say let’s know when you are ready to
get married. Why cant they say let us know if you
want to get married or not?
Wole Efunbajo – Meh
Me – Well, marriage still remains the 1st
institution created by God……..hope you guyz
know?
Dami Idowu – Why will they have to choose the
most important part for us? Why cant we make
our choice ourselves?
Me - @Carpel……..cuz they know its necessary.
Dami Idowu – Cos they are selfish. They don’t
want to respect your own decision. They know
it’s a decision and you can decide to do
whatever. But to avoid doing what you want, they
make decisions for you and tell you, you are old
enough to make your own decisions.
Me – See…..you guyz ave jes made me
speechless……..y’all nid serious counseling.
Dami Idowu – If one is actually old enough to
make ones decisions, why not allow the person
make the decision instead of being tricky.
Marriage is an option. And about the God’s 1st
institution, yeah I am aware and there is no
phrase in the Bible that says if you don’t marry,
then you are a sinner. But there is fornication,
adultery in the Bible. Which is why I said if
deciding not to marry cos you want to fuck
around, then that is a sin. Cos that’s fornication.
Samuel Enikanolaye – Now, lemme come in. Is
Wole a muslim? What about Carpel?
Dami Idowu – I’m a Christian.
Samuel Enikanolaye – Let me finish having my
bath I’ll give you passages in the Bible to support
Ifede.
Dami Idowu – Lunatics
Me – Tope…….they said they don’t want religion
in this.
Ayodele Idowu – Now, based on what we have
been saying since, it would be safe to say you can
have a great family without marriage, with so
many options, you can foster a child and be in a
domestic partnership with someone that shares
your view, take a look at it now, we are all about
23 on average…….In 10 years from now, the
story we’d all be hearing is wont you give me a
grandchild or I want to carry my grandchildren
before I die putting you in an uncomfortable
situation and unnecessary pressure. Without a
doubt is says you go into the world and multiply
but it didn’t say you MUST get married. For all
its worth Carpel, they are not selfish they are just
scared to deviate from the way they were been
brought up and it’s killing us because we are
growing in a time where things are drastically
changing and with all what’s going on today you
can well say you wouldn’t want to give in to the
notion that you must get married. And Tope, you
cant bring in a religious stratification here, I’m
even shocked that that’s the first question you’re
even asking, its religiously based.
Me – This is jes the devil at work. Budo saying
you can ave a great family without marriage.
Wole Efunbajo – Budo, you are making hot sense.
@Ifede, YES!!!!!!!!!!
Me – Domestic partner ko, wild partner ni.
Wole Efunbajo – Marriage is just a freaking
ceremony.
Me – Ceremony ke? Pls……..wedding is diff from
marriage oooooo………Ceremony is wedding.
Ayodele Idowu – lol
Dami Idowu – Budo, it is selfishness in the sense
that this is the same thing that has been
happening even when life was not as bad as this.
Wole Efunbajo – Mehn, I don’t want anyone or
anything to define my relationship. I’m gonna
love my gf/partner/wife and I don’t need
marriage or such to prove it.
Dami Idowu – Why cant they allow one decide?
Me – Decide that you don’t wanna live with a
woman for the rest of your life? Wait……Budo
has jes bin defining modern Marriarge
since…..Budo, lemme put it straight to
you…….are you gon get married?
Samuel Enikanolaye – I’m off this topic. See y’all
later!
Dami Idowu – God created Eve for Adam cos he
saw that Adam did not get to that perfection he
wanted for him (Adam)
Wole Efunbajo - @Ifede, not marrying doesn’t
mean you will end up with more than one woman.
It means you don’t want marriage.
Me – I swear…….Tope, you have just made some
lunatics happy. Say whatever is in your mind.
Samuel Enikanolaye – He created Eve to be his
companion not cos he wasn’t perfect.
Me – Very good @Tope
Dami Idowu – Does companion mean marriage?
Perfection is a reason and companion too is. Two
heads are better than one, that’s talking about
perfection. You wont be alone, that’s companion.
I lie?
Me – Ok……soooo because Adam and Eve no do
wedding……na hin make una fink sey dem no
marry?
Ayodele Idowu – Okay. Everyone is saying
Marriage! Marriage!! Marriage!!!......What happens
after 10, 20, 30 years after someone got married
and then he’s filling for divorce? What do you
think is happening? You can support it if you
want but it all boils down to the simple fact that
at the end of these years, these parties get tired
of each other and they want someone/something
else from each other or maybe they realize that
the marriage isn’t supposed to be in the first
place. Now, let’s look at it from another angle,
there wont be any need for a divorce if the
parties involved have had some mutual agreement
without marriage tying them down and hurting
each other in the process. In a nutshell, what I’m
trying to say is that marriage is not compulsory
and its not for everyone. And yes Ifede, I hope to
get married someday.

Now, I have to cut the long movie here……..So, what do you guyz think? My friends, at the end of the day couldn’t get to a perfect conclusion cuz none of them convinced me to the point that I could say Marriage is not compulsory……..Please, your opinions are welcome………

Thanks and God bless!

You can also follow me on twitter: @Mc_Jawbone

#CHNG – Charming Humble Nice Guy – The Freaky
Individual! ….an internet based reality show!