WARRI PALAVA: You Go Laff Tire - EPISODE 7 [BY: HYPERGIG]

Due to popular demand, here is the continuation of your MOST LOVED & BEST Comedy story. You missed previous episodes? Oya, see the links ----->>> HERE!

Welcome to the 7th episode:

My brain cells twitched and one of olamide's street punch lines just popped in; AM I MAD? It was a rhetorical sort of street jab that needed no answer cuz it was pretty obvious that am starting to join the league of the insane.

I came to Warri with the hope of landing myself a job but things have veered off the path I intended for them, am a sane lad acting as if am missing a nut, I've gone mad oh, Warri has succeeded in making me go nut but why won't I go nut, am inches away from Miss Nigeria, a lady with a physique internationally, recognized, certified and rated as A PLUS and with legs as straight and tiny as that of a tarantula.

CHICHI is a charmer so to say, she get the beauty of all those Greek goddess and am sure you lads know how gorgeous those Greek goddesses look especially those of you that are quite familiar with Greek antique movies such as troy and the lots. She is well trimmed up and has eye popping cleavages and curves, if she was sane and sound there was no way I could have gotten six feet close to her but now am just inches away from her, so if to say make I chop more lice just to maintain the inches between us I go do am. Na then I realize sey I must find means of getting myself out of this mental asylum cuz it's starting to have it toll on me, but am really gonna miss here, the meals, hot baths and chichi. I just hope that when she get better she will eventually remember me and the lice I ate from her Peruvian hair.

It was 12am and the hall was dark I got up from my therapeutic mattress and slid my flip flops into my feet then I positioned my feet like a soldier threading on enemy soil and started to tip toe, I tried not to make any sound so as not to trigger any of the derailed one's from waking up, I never knew that while I was acting all sneaky like a ninja I was being watched by the night guard on duty, he flashed his torch at me and was about raising his voice to call the night nurses before I could say (OBASANJO OLE) the man don call them already. They grasped and tied me down then I was given a shot of tranquilizer to calm my nerves down before I knew it my legs were chained onto my bunk and my hands as well.

I DON DIE OH, see ma life, I tried explaining to them that am a sane lad but instead they were of the opinion that my madness don scale pole, they started injecting me with all sort of medicine and taking my temperature at constant intervals. Since there was nothing i could possibly do I just had to relax and I took in all they had to offer.

The drugs had started working and before I knew it I had slipped into dreamland, my muscles were calm and my heart beat dropped. Knowing fully well that I was asleep they unchained me and left the hall, but while the drugs were acting out their effects and taking their toll on me I was trying to fight em back by staying awake, though it seemed pretty much impossible but like Kanu Nwankwo; I WAS DETERMINED. I was able to shrug off the overwhelming effects of the drugs by standing on my feet, but I wasn't still on point, cuz I was wavering and staggering while at a fixed position. Since the hallway was clear, I headed out with my shaky leg and dim eyes coz sleep still dey my body like mad.

I was walking like one of those resident evil zombies and a sleepy one at that, still with dizzy eyes I attempted scaling the fence and while at it I had my scrotum bruised in the process, I didn't even succeed in scaling the fence coz it happened that I slept off on the barbed fence, the urge to sleep was just too much and irresistible that I had to succumb to it and I just slept off on top the barb wire wey dey on top the fence. Na horse tranquilizer dem gimme coz the kind sleep wey I sleep while on the barbed fence that night was the best I ever had, though the barb wires pricked my skins but I didn't really feel em at all, the early morning alarms went off and the nurses started trooping out.

Then a nurse saw me, she didn't really know that this sane lad was just taking a nap on a barbed and prickly bed so to say, she obviously thought that I had been electrocuted by the current laced on the barbwire so she quickly raised a call for help (SOS) and the others rushed out, they all thought I was dead and I could sense some of them sobbing but I was too weak to make a gesture or signal to them that I was okay and all coz the sleep wey dey my body dey hard to shake off, my whole body was numb all over.

They thought it would be best to take me straight to the morgue but before that can be done they had to remove me from the barb wire attached to the fence. They instructed one of the nurses to go switch OFF the electric current to the barb wire not knowing that they were about to switch ON the electric current coz it was initially OFF. That was when my sub conscious whispered to the sleepy ME saying; I DON DIE. I was too weak to give out any signals that i wasn't dead and that they shouldn't switch the current on thinking they were switching it off but nothing dey wey I fit do.

I just hear shirrin shirrin for my body and before I knew it, the electric current flung me high up in the sky that i was cruising at the same altitude with pigeons and butterflies and while i was floating in mid air i just said to myself WARRI DON FINISH ME.

...to be continued!

Stay glued for more and please drop your comments.

Written by: OLADEJO MAYOWA MOSHOOD {HYPERGIG}
Ff him on twitter - @lilemir

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