You missed previous parts? Read them here ------->>> PART 1 & PART 2. ENJOY the continuation!
Hola Amigo! Como estas? Yeah, that’s about everything I know in Spanish. It’s aii though. How are you today? You don’t find anything happy about today? Well, your pot of porridge! I find that cool. Just cool. Many friends celebrating birthdays. Food although is not an highlight ‘coz I’m fasting #sadstuff. It’s still fun though.
So we’re back again on what I’ll love to call The Battle of The Sexes, and by popular demand, we shall focus on the males today.
Looool, but some of you females are really funny sha. Did you actually think for a second that I’ll have anything to say against guys? Jonzing of life!
*. VIDEO GAMES:
I’d say Fifa or Call of Duty, but those aren’t the only video games in the world. Now by popular belief from most girls, guys are always on and on about video games and that most guys never seem to care about girls when they’re playing video games.
You’re right to an extent. Some guys care enough to pause their game to talk to you or even talk to you while playing their video games. Do you know how hard it is to focus on two things at once? You should be grateful some guys can multi-task sef. If your man can take time out during his video game to answer you, you should know that he really loves you. If he doesn’t answer you, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. No, on the contrary, it just means you called at the wrong time and I’m totally sure he'll get back to you afterwards. Or do you answer phone calls when you’re taking a shit? Nahh, that’s wrong timing right there.
So don’t worry about it. We guys love you girls as much as most of you love shoes. How we look when we’re making noise over the newest Fifa or Call of Duty is the same way we see you girls when you’re busy opening magazines and gossiping about models or when you’re making noise about how “Fabulous” a shoe looks and how you must own it at all costs. You don’t see us guys feeling insecure when we watch you ogle over shoes like you love them more than us. So don’t feel insecure when we make noise over video games. Its just nature being fair and balancing the equation. No video game can ever take your place. We all know the one that’s more important.
*. PERSONAL HYGIENE:
I’m offended that you girls think you’re the neater sex yet get annoyed when men don’t shower. If you’re the neater sex, doesn’t that make us the dirtier one then? If so, aren't we expected to live up to your expectations? Besides, we’re not the ones with blood coming out of our sexual organs for a period of time every month nor are we the ones who always like to go out in bikinis and crop tops and mini skirts. You expose more body parts and claim to be the cleaner sex and that’s cool. No one is fighting with you over the accolade, but please don’t complain about us guys when we take our time before taking showers and all. I mean for a man, its cool if we take our showers by 30mins (I'm yet to have mine). We are the ones who usually work more outside of the home so its only right we sleep till we’re refreshed. Ladies on the other hand? You better wash that spot and wake up early so you can cook for the man and clean up the house and look pretty in case of guests. What are you trying to do by sleeping till 3pm? What if your man now comes and is horny and then he puts you in the mood? You mean to tell me you won’t shower but you’ll happily let him in you when your “fanny” smells like it needs an Orbit Chewing Gum or a breath mint? Nahh. There’s a special place in hell for you if you do this.
Then some of you women who don’t shave get me so confused. What are you trying to do, look like a gorilla? Does the hair act as fur during cold nights to keep you warm or what? Cus I'm seriously confused as to why you’d want to have hair all over you.
I personally can’t stand hairy armpits, and maybe hairy arms and legs, but a hairy vagina? Nahh. Mega turn off no matter the base I’ve gotten to (someone is probably still sharing the tale). The only thing that’s going down there is a Shaving stick. No two ways about it. You call me 'Fucked Up', I call me 'Principled'. As for guys, we stay hairy for your sexual pleasure. When you shave, and we get our hairy selves on you, the friction caused by the hair on your smooth skin can be a real turn on but I’m sure most of you never think this way. You just want to imitate us without getting the facts right. God is watching you.
*. INVITATIONS:
We care that is why we invite you over or ask if we can come over to your place. Your complaint is that when we usually come over, all we want to do is have sex? Noooo. You're wrong. We’d appreciate the sex and maybe some food too. Besides, its not EVERYTIME we come over that happens, but when it does, we have every right to ask for it. Apparently you girls don’t know how expensive fuel is nowadays. You think my car runs on water? Or do you pay me for coming over? Most likely no, but most guys compensate girls if they come over. Usually when they don’t, you came when they were broke hence its your fault so you should learn to schedule at a time when you can tell we're rich enough.
LOOOOOL I’m sorry I had to do this, but it was just too too hard to pass! Lol, I’ll do another one next time , and it won’t be sexist. Promise. Still tho, I just couldn’t help it. My sexist side just had to post this. Call me subjective, it’s not my fault. Man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do :’)
I know all my female readers have finally left me, but y’all should please come back ;;) Tomorrow will be better ^__^ No sexism shall be involved! and have a nice day!
...to be continued!!!
Written by: The Aggravated Boyfriend
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Saturday, November 29, 2014
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C'mooon, don't just leave. U gotta say something ;)