#CHNG - SHE CALLED AND SAID SHE MISSED HER PERIOD. MY FRIEND PANICS.

This is a short but very interesting story of what happened between my friend and I. Although, itz happened for real.....buh I sprinkled some funny and hilarious happenings to the real story. ENJOY:

E no funny ooooo.....my friend nearly went crazy. I was having my breakfast when my phone rang, it was my friend, Lanre (real name withheld). I picked up my phone and answered his call. My padi no even gimme chance to say 'Hello'.....

My friend - "Guy, wahala don dey oooo.....this babe just call me now sey she miss her period"
Me - "Which of the babes?"
My friend - "Why you dey talk like this na? Which one fit tell me this kind thing? Na *mentioned her name* jooorrrr"
Me - "Haaaaaa....tell her to go and find it na." I said that jokingly....not knowing it would vex my friend.
My friend - *Hissed* "You don dey craze sef"
And he hung up.

I care? Wetin concern me? Me just continue enjoying my breakfast.

He called back.....I guess he couldn't find a better person to discuss the issue with.

My friend - "But, when are you ever gon be serious? I told you something that is bothering me, something that is almost getting me out of my mind, and you dey joke with am?"
Me - "Oda, mabinu. So, wetin you wan make I do now? Cuz I don't know how you want me to be serious about this issue"
My friend - "Guy, help me na. You know I'm not ready to become a father now. Me wey still dey school, final year for that matter.'
Me - "Oh oh! So, you never ready? And you dey knack apako? Ok ooooo. You better go and start buying baby things."
My friend - "No be like that na. Leave that side....e don happen, e don happen be that. Na the next line of action be the koko."
Me - "Has she gone for a test?"
My friend - "Thatz true oooo....she never go do test na. I know you to be a very sharp boy.....you too wise, Jawbone"
Me - "So, what are you trying to say? That I'm an expert in unwanted pregnancy issues?"
My friend - "Hehehe.....I no talk that one na. I sha know you'll be able to help me out. So, shey make I tell am to go do test?"
Me - "No! Ode.....tell am jooorrr. You need to confirm na."
My friend - "Ok! I go call you back. Make I sharpaly go tell am."
Me - "Wait! Soooo, you fit call me for a long duration like this? If your babe no lost her period, you no go call me be that oooo? Chai! See life."
My friend - "No vex my padi.....no think am that way. At least, we sha dey chat for BBM na and this kind issue no fit plum for BBM....na why I call you be that"
Me - "Na you sabi....."

He went off the line and called back 30minutes later.....This time, I was already preparing to go out.

Me - "Hello ore, how far?"
My friend - "O boy! The babe don go do test sha, before she even call to tell me sey she don miss her period"
....Now, I could feel my friend was about to cry.
Me - "So, she don carry belle true true?"
My friend - "Yesssoooo"
Me - "Guy, your babe no carry any belle.....believe me"
....I said this cuz I felt my friend's girlfriend just wanted to finger my friend's brain. She didn't tell him in the first place about any test been carried out.....she just said she missed her period....if she had gone for a test, she would have talked about the result in the first place.

My friend - "Hen hen? Wetin make you talk am?"
....now feeling relieved.
I explained my thoughts to him but he still wasn't satisfied with it.

My friend - "The last time we had sex, I didn't use a condom and na withdrawal method I do....I no release inside her.....so, e fit possible sha"
Me - "Wait! How did you react when she told you that she's pregnant?"
My friend - "I dey ontop bed dey chyke one babe for BBM....the babe sef don gree to come my school.....na so Temi (not real name) called and gave me the bad news. I jumped out of bed ni ooooo. For like 30 seconds I no talk anything. But, I acted like a strong man and handled the situation somehow well."
Me - "Very good. She might actually be doing this to see if you really meant all your promises.....cuz I sabi sey you get sweet mouth"
My friend -"Na my selling point be that na."
....he paused, sighed after few seconds and said:
"Guy, this babe must not carry belle oooo.....I love her so much.....buh, no be now belle suppose be the case na."
Me - "See mumu claiming to love his babe and he's afraid of belle......you better be ready for the worse to happen. Cuz your babe fit don carry the belle for real oooo. But, the way she's sounding.....she dey test you ni"

My friend - "Make we dey see how things go be na. I no suppose dey fear sef.....my mates don marry na....some sef don born. Anyhow anyway, e go be nani"
Me - "Na now you dey talk like MAN. So, be a man and start preparing to welcome your new born baby in the next..."
.....my friend cut in.
My friend - "Wait oooooo, this babe no tell me how many weeks the thing be ooooo.....this babe dey whine me ni jooorrrr"

Come and see laugh....

Me - "You go wise when you realize sey she carry belle loto."
My friend - "Woooo...take care. We go yarn later"

Later in the evening, my friend called me again.

My friend - "Guy, you be MAN. You too sabi. You suppose become Prophet...."
Me - "Padi, wetin shele again?"
My friend - "My babe dey joke ni sha. She say she just wan see as I go take react to the situation."
Me - "You see? I talk am."
My friend - "Yesoo, my Jawbone. You talk am. But, shey your girlfriend don use that kind thing joke with you before ni? I just dey wonder ni ooo"
Me - "You don craze. Sheybe na you wey no wise....You should be happy that itz just a joke. And you had better stop fucking without a condom....You go dey do flesh to flesh....werin you expect? An Ipad or a Prado Jeep?"
My friend - "Hmmm. We don hear you, the love doctor and expert in detecting fake pregnancy"
Me - "Thunder fire that your mouth.....Olobe."

THE END!

Una don hear am? If you wan fuck, abeg use protection to prevent unwanted pregnancy and STDs. Me don talk my own.

And wait oooo, some ladies still scare their boyfriends with pregnancy? No babe fit try that kind thing with me ooooo.....*wink*.....lolz

Hope you enjoyed the story?

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#CHNG - Charming Humble Nice Guy - The Freaky Individual.
...an internet based reality show!