LADIES SHOULD START ASKING GUYZ OUT. IT IS MORALLY OKAY.

Good day, my lovely brothers and sisters. How has your weekend been? Well, mine has been great, just that there is this back pain worrying me and I don't even know where it came from. I'll be fine sha.

So, yesterday I published a post on my social media platforms  and most of y'all went gaga, I got good and crazy comments. Well, for those who didn't get it, here:
I AM WAITING FOR THE DAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN TO ME:
GIRL: Hi handsome.
Me: Mcheeew (roll eyes)
GIRL: C'mon I mean no harm dude. Just spare me a few minutes of your time.
Me: Say what you have to say and leave immediately.
GIRL: Okay I have been watching you pass here everyday and i feel attracted to you.
Me: Only that?
GIRL: I think you are hydrogen cause whenever I see you my heart beats with a pop sound.
Me: (blushing) aaaww stop the flattery.
GIRL: I'm damn serious. Can't you see that am not sobber andam staggering? That simply proves that am drunk in love with you.
Me: (smiling) go straight to The point, can't you see am busy? (drawing patterns on The ground using my feet)
GIRL: Wow! Your smile is like Al Quaeda terrorists cause it has just captured The territory of my heart. Please give me a chance to invest in your heart business and you will see The profits through my love for you.
Me: You girls are just the same. You Just want to use me then dump me heartlessly.
GIRL: OMG! Dats so inhuman. I want to show you true love that can never even be witnessed in the Soap Operas.
Me: Kkk let me think about it then I will reply you later.
GIRL: Okay handsome, take as much time as you want. Whatever your decision is, I willrespect it but please say Yes.

Will there ever be a beautiful time like this? Where girls will do the 'toasting' and we The boys do the 'blushing' or is it just wishful dreaming??

*******************

I told you guyz to WATCH OUT for my write-up on the topic above, So here is all I've gat to say:

In recent times, I've had many of my female blog readers ask me how bad/good is it to ask out a guy. They propelled me to do this and I hope it'll be of help to many ladies out there. And guyz who take girls for granted simply because they made the first move will understand some true facts here.

I won't be giving any definite steps to follow when asking a guy out, all I'll do is try as much as possible to prove to you that ASKING A GUY OUT ain't a crime and should not be seen as an abomination or a taboo, as most Nigerians see it.

I personally do not think anything is wrong with a girl asking out a guy. Yeah, I know I went to the extreme with the scenario I presented above....I only did that to make you anticipate for this article. Asking a guy out shouldn't be done that way. So, dispose that idea.

The belief by the world, Africans especially that it's a guy's job to make the first move is outdated and lame. Honestly, I love it when a girl takes it upon herself to ask a guy out. I am never more flattered. I'll give you an account of a very pretty lady who skillfully asked me out but unfortunately for her, I was already taken when she asked me out.

{NOTE: Never flirt with the guy who's taken}

Kate's (not real name) mother sells local gin and as a matter of fact, I'm not ashamed to say I patronized her. If I ever have the chance to enter Ibadan, I'd like to say HI to Kate's mother and probably gulp down two to five shots. Kate being a very beautiful lady, posses great features and was heavily endowed which made many men who patronized her mother throw themselves  over her.

{Most people think that ladies that aren't attractive are the ones who ask guys out cuz they don't get noticed, you know? And that other more attractive and hot ladies get asked out all the time. This is very wrong}

It was a known fact that every girl-child of a local gin seller sleeps with her mother's customers. In the case of Kate, it was false. She was classic and very reserved. She fell in love with me when she saw the promo video of my online show - 60 Minutes With A Star. Prior to the time, she had seen me being interviewed on different TV and Radio stations. She was surprised to see someone doing such a thing coming to drink at her mum's shop which was located in a very local area. I sometimes didn't go alone, I had brought the son of a King in Osun State to drink at her mum's shop. No be big deal.

I was not close to her at all, I wasn't even her friend. Though, I saw her everytime I came around to drink but I had no business with her. How she got my facebook ID, I never knew. She made the first move by beginning a conversation on facebook, and I won't deny the true fact that I  enjoyed the subsequent ones I had with her. After about 3 lengthy conversations that occurred at different points in time, I already knew what she wanted. And then I became shy....of course, guyz quiver when a girl makes the first move. I stopped going to her mum's shop as a result of this cuz I had no clue of how I would be comfortable being with her. It was my first time anyway.

She had a boyfriend and I also had a girlfriend. She told me at the end of the day that she developed feelings for me when she saw my video and saw how ambitious I was, even when she had a boyfriend, she thought it right to express her feelings. Sincerely, I appreciated her for that.

It's nice to not have to feel the pressure of gender roles. The guy which is believed to be the initiator of everything is human, the girl also is a human. Where is it written that guyz should be the only gender to make the first move? Even the scripture gives approval to ladies sometimes taking the initiative. It is entirely morally okay. You remember the story of Ruth in the Bible? Boaz helped her by taking care of her grain portions and Ruth as a morally upstanding daughter-in-law sneaked into his bed and asked him to marry her. A marriage proposal for that matter.

"God has a lot to say on the subject of how men and women relate to one another, but “Who should express a romantic interest in the other first?” doesn’t seem to have been something he judged of ultimate significance." - Brian Dellinger (@IrkedIndeed).

It is totally insane for a girl who has got feelings for a guy to expect the guy come do all the toasting. Is he a wizard that will magically know you gat feelings for him? My girlfriend never knew I really loved her until I told her...same to all boyfriends out there.

Some ladies fear the situation of being turned down. Well, if we guyz have always been patient enough to wait till we get a YES from you after fingering our brain for a long time and also making us go through a lot....what is wrong with you being patient enough till you also get a YES?

And C'mon, this is 2014, if you are a lady who asks a guy out and THE GUY feels somehow offended and emasculated by your forwardness, you have actually done it with a dumb guy who has an immature mind. A guy in his right senses would never make a whore out of a girl who has the courage to ask him out.

* KNOW WHAT YOU WANT & GO AFTER IT.
Kate knew what she wanted. The guyz she saw everyday at her mum's shop wasn't her type. She was a student of a Federal Polytechnic but all the guys that approached her seem not to appease her. When she eventually found me, I was all she wanted and she did everything right to come for me. She told me point blank that she was in love with me and that she couldn't just keep it to herself.

{Work up the courage to go get HIM and even if you get turned down, you've saved yourself of having to spend the rest of your life wondering "what if?".}

* BE HIS FRIEND AND KNOW WHO HE IS. BE PATIENT.
During the time Kate worked out a friendship relationship with me, she always wanted to know more about me. She knew almost everything about me cuz she asked questions and she never chocked me with them. She was straight-forward always.

{You need to tune up your Self-confidence when it gets to this level. And also be patient with him. Be free with him. In a case where there is already an established mutual interest, you'll be surprised when the guy takes the lead by taking the initiative and ask you out.}

I almost did that because it wasn't an easy thing to resist Kate, she was a damsel. But, my love for my girlfriend didn't allow me go that way.

{There are also some situations where a lady only need to make a move to make the guy know that she is an option. This sometimes, if not all the time spark an interest on the guy's part and he'll become inclined to reciprocate.}

* DON'T ACT TOO CHEAP & TOO DIFFICULT TO GET.
Kate never changed her policies because she wanted me. One thing I could remember vividly was her decision not to spend for a guy until the guy has done some spending to some extent. She told me this, though it sounded awkward but I salute her for being herself. Some girls will go ahead and do the spending which will at the end make them not feel alright about it. Don't hurt yourself or your feelings because you want to satisfy him.

{Keep it simple with him. Keep it natural and soft if possible. Your personality really depends. Don't throw yourself too much at him}

Kate would fight me everytime I didn't do what was expected of me.

Flirt with him but don't be nasty about it. When you are together, touch his arm and let him touch yours. Smile and laugh with him. And be hot always, whenever he sees you, let your appearance WOW him.

Most importantly, never let him get down with you cuz most guys use this as an opportunity to satisfy their hungry balls. The day Kate visited me in my house and I asked for a kiss, she never gave me. I thought she would give in easily because she loved me and wanted me but she surprisingly told me she wouldn't allow me cheat on my girlfriend with her even though she really loved me. I respected her for that.

* DON'T CHOKE HIM AND DON'T FEEL BAD WHEN HE SAYS NO.
If you found out that he's taken already, tell him what you feel for him and BACK OFF. Don't ever make him cheat on his babe, the bad result will bounce back on you at the end of the day.

But, if he's not. Go ahead and do the toasting. Hit the nail on its head. Say it to him that "I love you and I'd really love to be your girlfriend". If he says NO, tell him "Oh it's okay, no hard feelings. But I really do love you." Don't ever look upset or hurt. Still be the friend you have always been. I tell you, with time he'll get to appreciate you and then give you the correct answer.

In conclusion;
"OF COURSE!??!  Why should it be any different for a girl to ask a guy out than a guy?  Just because of American society it is "proper" for the guy to ask the girl out. That is stupid.  If you like him why not? He may be the one that you let go because of your ego of i am a girl i can't do this. I think this is one of the stupidest things in the world.  If you like someone you go after them.  You don't let them slip through your fingers.  And as a guy feeling threatened that is stupid. Sometimes guy's are just to shy you know?  I mean come on why do the guy's really have to do ALL the work?  Don't let him slip by you" - Best Answer to the question: "Can a girl ask a guy out?" on answers.yahoo.com

I hope I have been able to make my points and explanation on this topic clear to you? If you've gat any question, please make use of the comment box. And if you've gat one or two things to say about this topic, please endeavor to also make use of the comment box. Your opinions are welcome.

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#CHNG - Charming Humble Nice Guy - The Freaky Individual.
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