WARRI PALAVA: You Go Laff Tire - EPISODE 11 [BY: HYPERGIG]

Hellooooo, my people. It's been a great week and Hypergig won't relent in serving us with new episodes of his COMEDY STORY. Incase someone missed the previous episodes, you have the chance to enjoy them ------>>> HERE.

Welcome to the 11th episode:

Hate is a pretty strong term so I tend to shun it and not make use of it even if am hyped to do so, but Warri is an exemption to this law cuz I HATE the city diiiiieeeee.

Warri is a city filled up to the brim with all sort of strange peeps, I strongly believe that the people here are even too smart for their own good, instead of them putting hale and hearty notes into my bowl, they just dey chuk godforsaken money inside and the painful part was that I prayed for everyone of them. Now what am I to do? I had only one option left and that was to be a labourer for a day, a bricklayer so to say.

I was able to secure the said job and I was told that I was gonna be given 500 hundred at the completion of the job, five hundred for carrying cements, bricks and heavy metal moulds, that's way too small I said to myself but since I had no other option I had to settle for it. The job was one hell of a job, I carried cements and bricks, as if that was not enough I had to climb a stair case just to deliver them to the person moulding the building at the top.

As I dey carry the cement and block na em my body dey warn me, I could feel body pain and spinal chord stiffness, but as a man in need of money I shrugged them off and continued with the job. I hail bricklayers dem oh, those guys dey try big time, no wonder dey puff weed before doing their job. At last I was through with the Godforsaken job and the man in charge handed out a five hundred naira note to me. Kan see body pain wey hold me, my legs were stiff and my bald head was rocking with explosions, it was as if the BOKO HARAM peeps down north were raiding my body. I rushed to a pharmacy nearby and explained to him what had happened, he just blabbed out some silly medical terms and said to me that I am having a system lock down, a complete overhaul of my system, the bricks and blocks had drained me up and were hammering me up big time. He gave me some drugs to use and when he wrote out the bill that I was meant to pay, I just fainted. The whole bill was 450 naira that's like all of the money I had made for that day.

The painful part of it all was that as the guy presented the drugs to me and I instantly took a capsule from each and used them thinking that the whole summation would be around a 100 naira or so but I was totally wrong cuz the drugs claimed all my HARD HARD HARD earned money, it was my had earned money cuz I almost killed myself getting it. I just had to let that sour moment I had with the blocks and cements sail through cuz if I choose to zero in my thought on it I might eventually pass out from it. With fifty naira left with me there was no hope left, I just sit down for floor, while I sat down I reminisced on the past and those were lovely times though not as lovely as expected but it still surpassed the experience am having here in Warri.

I've always hated Warri people right from the onset even before I came here, there was this guy back then in my class who always thought he was the real deal cuz he was funny, he was silly and really dumb, his name was Bright Okpocha (Basket Mouth), though the guy name na Bright but he no bright at all, he dull like mad. Back then you go think sey em brain cells don die, na confirm olodo he be back then. I dey always fumble to the guy sey I go make am in life before am, now the guy don blow like C4 and em money sef don over full basket, and I dey here dey think about my 500 naira note.

Even klint Da Drunk abi what's he called was in my class, that one back then na outcast cuz e be slowpoke and now na the guy imbecility dey earn am cool cash. All those act of him portraying himself as a drunk na lie, e just dey use that one cover in imbecility.

The most painful part be sey; back then na me dey carry first for class and the likes of Basket Mouth and that imbecilic guy wey dey call himself Klint dey always copy my work for exam and test.

Before I come Warri I went to Basket Mouth's office, you should have seen the queue there, we lined up and were given number tags. A whole me was given number tag to wear, I raised my voice and said to the secretary:
"Do you know who I am?

I told the secretary to go and tell Okpocha that his former school mate wey e dey always copy back then dey queue outside but instead Okpocha denied me.

...to be continued!

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Written by: OLADEJO MAYOWA MOSHOOD {HYPERGIG}
Ff him on twitter - @lilemir

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