4:13 PM
The story started well and you've been laughing since the beginning...as Hypergig ends the story in the next episode, let's see what he has for us here. Previous episodes can be read ----->>> HERE.
Welcome to the 22nd episode:
I'm sure you guys are familiar with the term DIVINE INTERVENTION, abeg who fit define am among una? Rara ooo, una no get am jor, now lemme give una the true definition of the term DIVINE INTERVENTION as it applies to my present situation:
It means the sort of yeye help you seek from God when you know sey your own don finish patapata.
As I dey exam hall now, na divine intervention I dey seek from God, make Angel Gabriel just knack me with some correct expo from above, na the kind divine intervention wey I dey seek be that ooo. But since this didn't happen I had to improvise, so I had to make use of my brain, I sabi book wella but na me no dey wan show off but today I go show JAMB wee.
I took a quick glance at the questions, but there was this particular question that caught my attention, na for English and inside dey talk sey make I choose the nearest in meaning, the said question that caught my attention goes thus:
THE ENTIRE NEIGBOURHOOD WERE PRESENT AT THE YULETIDE CAROL.
The last word 'CAROL' den talk sey make I find the nearest in meaning for, among the options dey write:
(A) congregation
(B) song
(C) opera
(D) I don forget d last option jor.
But wetin kan pain me pass be sey the answer wey I wan choose no dey the options, how dem go talk of CAROL wey den no go talk of WIZKID wey sing am? Wallahi I leave am ni ooo, I no shade any of the yeye options wey dem put cuz I know sey all the options na gbege.
As tinz dey go now e be like say I go find person wey I go copy from but my eyeballs are not really that large so e go dey hard for me to see another person answer sheet from afar and na cause of times lilke this I dey always pray to God make He gimme eyeballs wey be like that of SEGUN ARINZE and BASKET MOUTH combined together coz with eyes like that I go fit zoom in and pry into other peoples answer sheet.
All the questions wey dey the paper no tally with my own answers at all, una go see wetin I dey talk about now. Oya ooo, for one of their government questions I was told to fill the gap with the right answer wey correspond with the question from the options and the question was:
WHILE OIL IS TO THE EAST AND COCOA IS TO THE WEST _________ IS TO THE NORTH.
Abeg na everybody know sey the answer na BOKO HARAM oooo but wallahi nothing like that dey the options, na den I begin to suspect sey the computer wey print the question sheet get omission virus for hin body, among the options dey put groundnut pyramids. Shey na so I no sabi book reach ni? After all, na every body know sey na for Egypt groundnut pyramid dey.
Again I was asked of the first man to cross the river Niger, among the options I had something like mango park listed but seriously how mango go cross river? Eh! See me see wahalla. This people are playing on my intelligence abeg, who among us bo sabi sey na JESUS CHRIST first cross am abi dem don forget as hin take waka with swag on top the water ni?
The third one wey kan pain me pass na the one wey be sey I sabi pass for my life coz it concerns women. Make una see the question wey dem ask ooo:
LAMBS ARE TO SHEEPS WHILE CHICKS ARE TO______
Dey put line there sey make I shade one option to fill am up, my brother abeg who no know sey na Calabar wey be Cross River State get chicks wey make sense pass oooo, so if LAMBS ARE TO SHEEPS THEN CHICKS ARE TO CALABARIANS cuz na their chicks make sense pass, but I no gree see anything of that sort for the option at all...na then I kan make up my mind sey I go write to that man wey dey dey call DIBU OJERINDE saley make e go service their computers coz dey don dey omit options.
Na so I drop my pen and pencil wey I run borrow out of anger and for the fact sey JAMB dey belittle my intelligence and I waka commot for the exam hall making me the first person to finish jamb within five minutes.
*************************
With all the mess am tucked in down at Warri I waz still optimistic of better days ahead. Now I had to reason a way out of all these unpleasantriez plaguing me so I thought to myself that a police station will be the best place to do so, I will explain to the OC in charge of my abduction and all other irregularities Warri had dealt on me that way I was quite certain of help from those amiable black khaki lads.
On getting to the front entrance of the police headquarter, the field unit of the force got a distress call about an ongoing robbery but dey no gree respond to the call on time, the head of the anti robbery squad had this special stop watch fastened onto his wrist and he paid careful attention to it, na then I know sey the man dey use echo time when den go commot, he dey tell the others sey time never reach to go ooo and when he was certain that the robbery had ended, he ordered the boys to start their rickety pick up truck and they sped off, dey never even pass the next street, then the fuel for their pick up truck finish so they had to come back to the station to carry one of the danfo bus they seized earlier.
But as that one no consign me. I just waka pass as if e no concern me but deep inside I dey shake my head for them. As I wan enter the counter na so I see one notice wey dey write for the parking space of the police station, I wasn't really sure If I was reading aloud what I had seen cuz an inscription of that sort wasn't supposed to be written in a place such as this.
It was boldly written, CARS PARKED HERE ARE PARKED AT OWNERS RISK, inside police station premises dem dey tell people sey their cars are parked at their own risk? And who says our police force isn't the best? I go challo the OC wey dey the complaint desk abi shey na counter and he told me to first pay complaint fee before I talk wetin bring me come, I chuk my hand inside my pocket and brought out a filthy two hundred naira note but I pleaded with him to help me manage hundred naira sey I wan use the remaining 100 bucks chop, he agreed and gave me hundred naira change out of the two hundred, I bowed a bit and thanked him.
...to be continued!
Stay glued for more and please drop your comments.
Written by: OLADEJO MAYOWA MOSHOOD {HYPERGIG}
Ff him on twitter - @lilemir
****************************
BE KIND ENOUGH TO INTRODUCE SOMEONE OR MORE TO MY BLOG TODAY. Don't be the only one enjoying the FUN here.
Like my facebook page - The CHNG Blog
Ff me on twitter - @Mc_Jawbone
BB Pin - 742EBB2A
Thanks and God bless.
Welcome to the 22nd episode:
I'm sure you guys are familiar with the term DIVINE INTERVENTION, abeg who fit define am among una? Rara ooo, una no get am jor, now lemme give una the true definition of the term DIVINE INTERVENTION as it applies to my present situation:
It means the sort of yeye help you seek from God when you know sey your own don finish patapata.
As I dey exam hall now, na divine intervention I dey seek from God, make Angel Gabriel just knack me with some correct expo from above, na the kind divine intervention wey I dey seek be that ooo. But since this didn't happen I had to improvise, so I had to make use of my brain, I sabi book wella but na me no dey wan show off but today I go show JAMB wee.
I took a quick glance at the questions, but there was this particular question that caught my attention, na for English and inside dey talk sey make I choose the nearest in meaning, the said question that caught my attention goes thus:
THE ENTIRE NEIGBOURHOOD WERE PRESENT AT THE YULETIDE CAROL.
The last word 'CAROL' den talk sey make I find the nearest in meaning for, among the options dey write:
(A) congregation
(B) song
(C) opera
(D) I don forget d last option jor.
But wetin kan pain me pass be sey the answer wey I wan choose no dey the options, how dem go talk of CAROL wey den no go talk of WIZKID wey sing am? Wallahi I leave am ni ooo, I no shade any of the yeye options wey dem put cuz I know sey all the options na gbege.
As tinz dey go now e be like say I go find person wey I go copy from but my eyeballs are not really that large so e go dey hard for me to see another person answer sheet from afar and na cause of times lilke this I dey always pray to God make He gimme eyeballs wey be like that of SEGUN ARINZE and BASKET MOUTH combined together coz with eyes like that I go fit zoom in and pry into other peoples answer sheet.
All the questions wey dey the paper no tally with my own answers at all, una go see wetin I dey talk about now. Oya ooo, for one of their government questions I was told to fill the gap with the right answer wey correspond with the question from the options and the question was:
WHILE OIL IS TO THE EAST AND COCOA IS TO THE WEST _________ IS TO THE NORTH.
Abeg na everybody know sey the answer na BOKO HARAM oooo but wallahi nothing like that dey the options, na den I begin to suspect sey the computer wey print the question sheet get omission virus for hin body, among the options dey put groundnut pyramids. Shey na so I no sabi book reach ni? After all, na every body know sey na for Egypt groundnut pyramid dey.
Again I was asked of the first man to cross the river Niger, among the options I had something like mango park listed but seriously how mango go cross river? Eh! See me see wahalla. This people are playing on my intelligence abeg, who among us bo sabi sey na JESUS CHRIST first cross am abi dem don forget as hin take waka with swag on top the water ni?
The third one wey kan pain me pass na the one wey be sey I sabi pass for my life coz it concerns women. Make una see the question wey dem ask ooo:
LAMBS ARE TO SHEEPS WHILE CHICKS ARE TO______
Dey put line there sey make I shade one option to fill am up, my brother abeg who no know sey na Calabar wey be Cross River State get chicks wey make sense pass oooo, so if LAMBS ARE TO SHEEPS THEN CHICKS ARE TO CALABARIANS cuz na their chicks make sense pass, but I no gree see anything of that sort for the option at all...na then I kan make up my mind sey I go write to that man wey dey dey call DIBU OJERINDE saley make e go service their computers coz dey don dey omit options.
Na so I drop my pen and pencil wey I run borrow out of anger and for the fact sey JAMB dey belittle my intelligence and I waka commot for the exam hall making me the first person to finish jamb within five minutes.
*************************
With all the mess am tucked in down at Warri I waz still optimistic of better days ahead. Now I had to reason a way out of all these unpleasantriez plaguing me so I thought to myself that a police station will be the best place to do so, I will explain to the OC in charge of my abduction and all other irregularities Warri had dealt on me that way I was quite certain of help from those amiable black khaki lads.
On getting to the front entrance of the police headquarter, the field unit of the force got a distress call about an ongoing robbery but dey no gree respond to the call on time, the head of the anti robbery squad had this special stop watch fastened onto his wrist and he paid careful attention to it, na then I know sey the man dey use echo time when den go commot, he dey tell the others sey time never reach to go ooo and when he was certain that the robbery had ended, he ordered the boys to start their rickety pick up truck and they sped off, dey never even pass the next street, then the fuel for their pick up truck finish so they had to come back to the station to carry one of the danfo bus they seized earlier.
But as that one no consign me. I just waka pass as if e no concern me but deep inside I dey shake my head for them. As I wan enter the counter na so I see one notice wey dey write for the parking space of the police station, I wasn't really sure If I was reading aloud what I had seen cuz an inscription of that sort wasn't supposed to be written in a place such as this.
It was boldly written, CARS PARKED HERE ARE PARKED AT OWNERS RISK, inside police station premises dem dey tell people sey their cars are parked at their own risk? And who says our police force isn't the best? I go challo the OC wey dey the complaint desk abi shey na counter and he told me to first pay complaint fee before I talk wetin bring me come, I chuk my hand inside my pocket and brought out a filthy two hundred naira note but I pleaded with him to help me manage hundred naira sey I wan use the remaining 100 bucks chop, he agreed and gave me hundred naira change out of the two hundred, I bowed a bit and thanked him.
...to be continued!
Stay glued for more and please drop your comments.
Written by: OLADEJO MAYOWA MOSHOOD {HYPERGIG}
Ff him on twitter - @lilemir
****************************
BE KIND ENOUGH TO INTRODUCE SOMEONE OR MORE TO MY BLOG TODAY. Don't be the only one enjoying the FUN here.
Like my facebook page - The CHNG Blog
Ff me on twitter - @Mc_Jawbone
BB Pin - 742EBB2A
Thanks and God bless.
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C'mooon, don't just leave. U gotta say something ;)