WARRI PALAVA: You Go Laff Tire - EPISODE 2 [BY: HYPERGIG]

My wonderful people, how una dey? No time to waste. If you dey among the people wey miss the last episode, read am for ----->>> HERE.

Welcome to Episode 2:

Seeing that this poor lad was of no use to them,they tossed me out of a moving vehicle in the dark.

Na job I find come Warri but now I'm soiled up in my own worries, wetin I go do now? I'm stranded and to top up my problems I don't have a dime with me, deep inside i just uttered this three words to my sub consciousness (I DON DIE).

While wandering about with the bruises I had gotten from being violently tossed out, I jam this church wey dey do revival, wasn't so sure if it was a revival or get together. I sneaked in and laid my behind on a chair and within some seconds I blended with the crowd shouting Hallelujah and all while nurturing the hope that there was gonna be a buffet of some sort to eat from, cuz i could smell the strong aroma of jollof rice in the air.

I clapped, yelled as if I was thrilled and submerged in the holy spirit, but it was all a faux (LIE) cuz na food tinz carry me come the church. I could see some coolers well positioned at a precise angle in the confines of the church and I was hundred percent certain they contained food. Within some minutes into my intense shouting and ranting I became overly exhausted and just slept off on the tiny chair i sat on. By the time i was awake they had already served and all that littered the tiled floor were bits and pieces of take away plates.

Come see as I dey cry, I really wept my reservoir out. A lady walked up to me and inquired from me why i was crying, instead of spilling out the truth to her that I missed out on the food, I told her I was filled up with the holy spirit and that I was in a transe of some sort which in turn evoked my tears.

It was noon already and cocks were cookroodooing all about. I took my leave from the church and like a compass without a bearing I wandered about hoping to locate the spot where I was picked and abducted from or better still kidnapped from, na that day i know say Warri big no be small cuz I no get the spot at all.

I walked up to a couple and asked if they could be of help to me cuz my stomach by then was awry and in need of something to take in, they first sized me up from my bald head down to toe and just retorted by saying:
You are wearing a TM Lewin and a pair of top notch loafers and you are here begging for money, we wey u dey beg sef no dress reach u....abergi park well"

They said to me and they just waved their fingers to dismiss me off. When has it become a crime to dress well and after all, everything i had on were mere imitations and not the real deal so to say.

Na then I know say to dress well sef no dey make sense in some cases, so instead i comot my shirt, squeeze am, chuk am inside my pocket and took of a feet of my loafers and chuk am inside my pocket too. Now I looked like a guy in need of some serious help.

Sighting another couple, I went straight to them and asked if they could be of financial help to me. They gazed at me unceasingly for almost five minutes and retorted that they don't give out their hard earned money to hoodlums. I looked at myself from my slightly broad chest down to my feet and I sure looked like a tout. I tried explaining to them that I wasn't one but they just said that my likes say such tinz all the time.

Nawa oh! The first couple said I over dressed and I decided to tune it down a little and now this derailed couple are saying I'm a tout cuz I took off my shirt and tucked my loafers in my pocket. Out of anger and their outright underestimation of my personality. I took out my imitated TM Lewin shirt from my pocket and my pair of loafers just to show them i had class and swag, and I started putting them on, they were shocked by what i was doing and instantly took to their heels probably thinking that I was mad and all, then did I realize that I was doomed.

So, Warri go become my geographical enclave be that?......More to come...WATCH OUT for more peeps.

Drop your comments, encourage Hypergig to write more.

Written by: OLADEJO MAYOWA MOSHOOD {HYPERGIG}
Ff him on twitter - @lilemir

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