WARRI PALAVA: You Go Laff Tire - EPISODE 16 [BY: HYPERGIG]

Hello guyz. Who don hear the 'Ibadi' song by May D? Chai!!! That song is bursting my brain....it has been on REPEAT since yesterday wey I download am. May D is one hell of a talented singer. Jesus!!! The song no tire me at all. I'm dedicating a CRAZY BUT TRUE post to May D tomorrow....So, come back to read it.

In the meantime, oya enjoy the continuation of your favorite Comedy Series. Previous episodes can be found ---->>> HERE.

Welcome to the 16th episode:

My eyes con come down after I don chop all their food finish. Out of the usual thirty minutes allocated for the break period, the kids had spent twenty five minutes, so I only had five minutes to come up with a plan.

As I dey think of how I go take explain how their food got missing, na em Akpokoro enter class, he was the eldest in class and was also the dumbest, he has been in the same class for five years and thus he was made the class captain by default. As I see am na em my brain click sharpally, I ordered Akpororo to move closer to me, the boy being just five years old came forward and I grab am for arm instantly.

Now that I had Akpororo with me my mind became settled coz he was gonna bail me out of the mess I got myself into, I stained akpororo's shirt with some remnants from the food flask. I messed up his tiny school uniform with stew paste and I hung a strand of Indomie in his mouth to create the perfect effect I wanted. I was able to do all this to Akpororo coz I promised him he would be given a double promotion at the end of the term, and he fell for it.

After I don dress Akpororo wella with the left overs from the food flasks I raised the alarm and shouted at the top of my voice. I called the headmaster and told him that Akpororo entered the class when no one was in and ate the food of the other kids. The headmaster became infuriated and started hurling insults at the little kid, he was seriously dealt with and later expelled from the school but I pleaded with the headmaster to reconsider his expulsion and this he did.

I knew that sooner or later I was gonna get caught, so I had to look for another means through which I could sustain my survival and apart from that the pay I was getting from the self imposed job was too meagre for a man of my size and status (thatz me forming, shoulder pad tinz). The only tin I dey enjoy for the teaching work na the usual food flask fiesta wey I dey always partake in and I know sey na matter of time before den catch me cuz wetin I dey do na capital offence.

I was kinda pondering on the kind of job I could do to top up the income from my teaching job and all of a sudden a crazy idea popped in. There was this kid in my class who had a toy gun that looked real so I confisticated the toy gun from the puny little thing and instructed him never to ask for it again. Now Warri go know who be boss today cuz I was gonna show them the stuff wey God use mould me. When it was exactly 12 a.m on the dot, by then it was midnight and everywhere had become dim and dark, I entered a random backyard and quickly took a black shirt from the line where it was spread to dry.

Now I had the needed stuffs to carry out my operation, cuz na robbery act I won carry out, with me decked in my black shirt and armed with my toy gun I set out to find a good spot were I would see a prey to pounce on. I came across the right spot to carry out my act, my mind was settled cuz na only me know sey na toy gun I hold, in fact the toy gun na all those made in China toy gun and e dey heavy, so it was hard to dismiss the fact that it was a fake.

Na so I see one idle man for bus-top, he was standing all alone and he held a briefcase, the man was the short sort so I knew he would be an easy prey for me. As I reach the man side I pressed the toy gun firmly into his waist and told him to surrender all he has, but the man wasn't moved by my threat at all, even the sight of the gun no scare am at all, I even use voice for am but e still no move am, na so I sey make I slap am but as I raise my hand sey make I hit am like this na em the man raise em shirt up, come see wetin I see, he had three guns buried underneath his shirt and he even had a knife to compliment them.

I begin dey piss for my trouser, this was the first time i would be seeing a real gun at close range and na three for that matter. Na so I tell am sey na play I dey play with am sey make he no vex but the man no gree hear my plea at all, he dealt with me seriously with his belt, in fact he beat me sotey I no fit walk na GOD sey make e no use em gun on me cuz na dat one for bad pass, na then I know sey na Akpororo head catch me.

...to be continued!

Stay glued for more and please drop your comments.

Written by: OLADEJO MAYOWA MOSHOOD {HYPERGIG}
Ff him on twitter - @lilemir

**************************

BE KIND ENOUGH TO INTRODUCE SOMEONE OR MORE TO MY BLOG  TODAY. Don't be the only one enjoying the FUN here.

Like my facebook page - The CHNG Blog
Ff me on twitter - @Mc_Jawbone
BB Pin - 742EBB2A

Thanks and God bless.